9.Night Of The Living Rednecks
Ray's guitar broke. no, we won't play rawhide, won't play
anything. we'll play the theme from the dinah shore show. who
wants to be dinah shore？ who's alter-ego is dinah shore？ oh, his
fists did
O up so quickly this time. yawn...yawn..yawn. put those
headphones on, it's be-bop time.
I want to tell you a story about the last time i was in
portland. the night before we played at the long goodbye. i was
walking on the street about 10：30 at night. a lot of people go
to bed arou
Re at 10：30 at night. and well, i was walking along when
suddenly these jocks in this bright blue pickup drove up. it had
kc lights, tractor tires, everything but the cb. it was a
life-size hot
S car for some dumb rich kid, right. well, they drove up to me
and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually yell, 'hey, faggot,'
and showered me with some water.
So, i stood there thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads and picked
up a rock. now, i waited, walked down about a block to where the
kentucky fried chicken is, on burnside, and sure enough they dro
Ound again. they said, 'hey, faggot, where's the nearest
mcdonald's？' i said, 'i don't know' and they squirted me again.
so i threw the rock and put a nice-size dent in their
T hot wheels car.
They screached to a halt in the parking lot of some department
store, who's name i don't remember, it's up the street from fred
meyer, and they got out their clubs and they ran after me,
yelling
Ot;we're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot, we're gonna kill
you, you motherfucker.' so i got in a phonebooth by the kentucky
fried chicken on burnside, held my legs straight out like thi
They couldn't open the door to the phonebooth.
So they began charging the phonebooth, beating on it with their
club, yelling, 'we're gonna kill you, you motherfucker, we're
gonna kill you, you god damn faggot.' i just looked at the
, there was a crowd gathering by this time and these kids were
standing nearby and they said, 'oh, look at him, he's insane.' i
thought, ah-hah, here's my way out. i yelled at them, ＆q
Ake me to a mental hospital right away. i wanna be be put away.
please put me away, c'mon, call the cops and put me away. please
put me away now.' they said, 'alright, faggot, we're ca
The police.'
So they called the police. the cop comes out and i go, ah, my
savior, i'm away from these jocks. he opens up the door, 'get
out of there, you,' throws me up against the car, frisks me,
Es me in the back. then he goes over to the jocks, 'now what
happened here？ it looks like we're going have to take him to
jail but we got to have the full story first' so the jocks, wh
An ace in the hole, ace in the hole [take down on the bass, a
little bit down on the bass. yeah], ace in the hole, and they
go, 'well, goddammit, the motherfucker put a dent in my truck, a
0 truck, right, so i got my club, i went out and i wanted to
kill him.
I want to kill him. let me kill him, goddammit. let me kill
him.' so the cop made them go home, and he drove me home, and he
confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence. and i th
, so this is oregon, huh？ tolerent oregon？
Ray, are you done with your guitar yet？ he isn't done yet. so
what else do you want to hear, i'm out of stories. that's a true
story, too. just ask bruce loose.
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